big new day.

At 9:43 this morning, I woke up to find a rainy Tuesday outside my window. Settling into my favorite sweatshirt and corner of the living room couch, I cradled my iPad and opened Spotify. Today was the day, I suppose I decided, to start a new playlist. A playlist for the next chapter. And I decided to call it “Big New Day.”

Over the past few weeks, I have moved through my life with an unsettling sense of being in limbo. It makes sense, really. The beautiful, chaotic blur of grad school drew suddenly to a close, the treadmill belt beneath my feet fading to a stop and my lungs thirsty for air. Somewhere along the line, perhaps out of survival, I lost touch with the art of relaxation. I have no thesis deadline looming, no conduct conversation to plan for, no RA staff to meet and laugh with. In some ways, this has been exactly what the doctor ordered. Time with family, time to breathe, time to plan for the next big adventure. But, each morning, I’ve woken with a bit of uncertainty as to what I should be committing my time to.

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