ten days in.

ten days in and already
i’ve had trouble meeting my
gaze in the mirror, hung
my head, all my skin
new, once again, raw
against the open air

please just stop, i beg
the uncaged puppy in
the sparse amber light
of 3 AM, stop crying
and rest, but it is
my face flooded and
wet, he knows,
burrows into my
shoulder until my
breathing deepens

another time i’ve
been cradled by the
one i’d believed i was
saving

i am a runner deprived
of sleep, eyes weary
and legs weighty,
praying for something
like momentum, never
more alone than in
these heavy hours

string the lights beneath
the boards, bask in
the glow, the way
my friend’s weeps
turn to giggles over
Jennifer Hudson singing
Memories, tonight will be
a memory too, all of us
huddled around the fire
of each other’s company

these pages, too, will
yellow, and i will long
for the sounds of these
days, voices over the
phone, mysteries still
to be solved, loves to
be found, griefs who
will wait to be carried
some far-off tomorrow