It has been more than two months since the Supreme Court declared marriage to be a right for everyone, which means it also has been more than two months since I posted my coming out blog post. I spoke myself into existence – it took only a moment of wild courage – and, after a burst of insanity, life settled into routine. The sun rose and fell, and life moved forward.
We post these announcements like they are a tremendous shock. To be fair, for some people in our lives, this comes as a tremendous shock. Maybe because we are some of the first to share these stories with them, or maybe because there are stubborn barriers to acceptance. But, all things considered, I don’t think this qualifies as the most shocking confession I could utter.
So, for fun, here are ten things more shocking about me than my sexual orientation.
- I am allergic to chocolate. This proclamation is usually met by a gasp and then an apology. I answer by explaining that I learned about it when I was nine, all that chocolate milk in the school cafeteria, and that it was a relief because my mom thought my migraines might be from some kind of tumor.
- I think Jimmy John’s makes deplorable sandwiches. The bread is weirdly stale and flavorless, the meat is generally stacked to excess, and all the options overflow with condiments and vegetables.
- I would go car-free in a second. If it weren’t inconvenient for everyone else, I would never drive myself long distances again. I’d much prefer to move myself and everyone I love to a big city with public transportation.
- I am on my eighth straight year of living in a residence hall. Yeah, give that a thought. I am making life choices.
- I still think Blastoise is cooler than Charizard. He has cannons BUILT INTO HIS SHELL. But, yeah. Fire-breathing dragons are original.
- I once lied to a woman about having diabetes. It’s a long story, but the tweetable version is this: I was a server. A guest tried to get a free meal by making unrealistic claims about her diabetes. So I told her I had diabetes. We stared each other right in the eye.
- I want a tattoo but can’t commit. I love the idea of utilizing tattoos to express the absolutes. I just haven’t found the absolutes. My being is too transient at this time.
- If I could, I would make skateboards extinct. Because, when I’m walking across campus and hear one coming from a mile behind me, my anxiety slowly builds.
- I think Coven is the best season of AHS. The original had its merits but couldn’t find its rhythm. Asylum was dark and beautiful, especially The Name Game, but was over-stuffed with aliens. Freak Show was a haphazard mess. But Coven was delicious and fun and cohesive.
- I am waiting for Candy Crush to die. And so should you.
One thought on “ten things more shocking about me than my sexual orientation.”
I am also allergic to chocolate (and I really do not feel like I’m missing out on much which is met with another gasp), cannot stand Jimmy Johns (another gasp), and would love to never have to drive ever again.