when i knew #11.

by Michael King

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“When I knew, for sure, to the point that it was undeniable, I was a senior in high school. Of course, by that time, I had felt attraction to one guy or another, but I was raised in an extremely repressive environment – a WASP haven, if you will. Therefore, it took me a very long time to admit in myself that love was possible for me.

“The moment I knew was when I truly felt love for the first time. He was a goofy, shaggy, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, baby-faced football boy. What started out as a casual friendship slowly evolved into a romantic one, and yes – even a physical one. On a fateful summer evening, he came over to watch anime, as we had done many times. When we did this, we would get food and pop, and I would lie in his lap. It was casual, our relationship. But this time, I was brave; I reached out and held his hand.

“Instead of retreating like I expected, he put his other hand in my hair and acted like nothing happened. My chest was on fire but light, heavy yet fluttered. Such a small gesture, a tiny thing. But, at that moment, I knew I had fallen in love with him. And, at that moment, I finally stopped denying the possibility that even I could be loved.”

– S

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