when i knew #5.

by Michael King

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“It took me roughly 21 years to figure it out. And days short of my 23rd birthday before I said it out loud. I never felt as if I would be abandoned or hated but I never had a concrete feeling that I was ‘different’ either. Fleeting feelings for girls here and there that I dismissed as envy. I only wanted to be LIKE them, I didn’t want to be WITH them. I’m a sucker for love but looking back something about same sex couples always warmed my heart a little more.

“In high school I fell head over heels in love with a boy. Problem solved! I was straight! Until that ended. And then, after several other failed relationships, I had to ask myself why I always found flaws. Here come those strange feelings again. Do I ‘like’ her? Or do I just enjoy her friendship?

“Near the end of college, I had done enough vague exploration through conversations with friends that I think I had come to terms with it. But I needed to be 100% sure. The words almost burst through my lips multiple times before my head was ready, though I could tell my heart was ready. That’s when I knew.

– A

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