when i knew #33.

by Michael King

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“I was always a curious child and was really a loner in elementary school. I usually hung out with girls and admired my male classmates. I always thought, ‘Wow, they’re so cool,’ and ‘I want to be like them.’ I was constantly trying to impress the other male students in my class.

“The older I got the more confused I became. I became infatuated with guys. and I never knew what to do. I was so disgusted with myself; I thought there was something wrong with me. I remember in the 7th grade writing ‘I’m gay’ in a notebook. Just the action of writing it down gave me so much anxiety, my heart was pounding like I had just sprinted a marathon.

“I wished so many times that it was a phase and that it would go away. I was so afraid of rejection. I think I finally came to terms my during my freshman year of high school with the fact that I’m gay, and, for the first time, I was proud of who I was. It was a time when a lot of people were coming out, and I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. This became a turning point for me; I became more outgoing and became just a happier person in general. I honestly think, at only 20 years old, my story is still unfolding and developing more each day.”

– T

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