“I was always a curious child and was really a loner in elementary school. I usually hung out with girls and admired my male classmates. I always thought, ‘Wow, they’re so cool,’ and ‘I want to be like them.’ I was constantly trying to impress the other male students in my class.

“The older I got the more confused I became. I became infatuated with guys. and I never knew what to do. I was so disgusted with myself; I thought there was something wrong with me. I remember in the 7th grade writing ‘I’m gay’ in a notebook. Just the action of writing it down gave me so much anxiety, my heart was pounding like I had just sprinted a marathon.

“I wished so many times that it was a phase and that it would go away. I was so afraid of rejection. I think I finally came to terms my during my freshman year of high school with the fact that I’m gay, and, for the first time, I was proud of who I was. It was a time when a lot of people were coming out, and I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. This became a turning point for me; I became more outgoing and became just a happier person in general. I honestly think, at only 20 years old, my story is still unfolding and developing more each day.”

– T

“I wasn’t truly, in my heart and mind, aware I was ‘different’ from most heterosexual people for a long time in my life. I had always thought about women romantically and had relationships with women in high school and college. Although there was always a feeling in me, an attraction to men, that I couldn’t hide from.

“During my first year in graduate school, I struggled with this constant push and pull of being attracted to women and men. What is this, I would think. Am I gay? Am I straight? I was quiet about my feelings, my occasional desire to be with a man. I slowly explored my feelings and found that I was truly attracted to men and women, that bisexuality was a real and valid way to be and feel.

“Being bisexual isn’t a stepping stone to fully coming out as gay, at least not for me. It is simply a part of who I am. If I fall in love with a man, I will be happy. If I fall in love with a woman, I will be happy. Being able to be true to myself allowed me to be true to close friends.

“Just this past week (very fresh), I officially came out as bisexual to my family. It was the hardest thing that I have done in my life, but all my worries and what ifs were put aside when my family hugged me and said, ‘We love you no matter what.’ My father said this to me: ‘We love you and we will always welcome you home with open arms. And whoever you like/love and want to bring home, we will welcome them with a hug and open arms as well.’

“I am truly lucky.“

– J

“As a child, I always felt a little different. There were so many clues as to my orientation growing up, but I’d been so entrenched in religious doctrine by family and friends, the idea of being anything other than straight never seriously crossed my mind.

“My interests and hobbies never fully lined up with other boys my age. My cousins would eagerly volunteer to help my grandpa and uncles with their construction business, while I begrudgingly went along with them counting the moments until I could get home and help grandma bake.

“Around Christmas, my favorite pastime was helping my mom wrap gifts while making homemade bows for the gifts. We’d have music (Cher, Paula Abdul, or Shania Twain) or TV (Designing Women, Golden Girls, or Will and Grace) on in the background. To this day, I joke with my mother she did everything in her power to raise me to be gay. Despite these subtle hints, I didn’t know until much later in life.

“I had numerous crushes on classmates and friends throughout my childhood, but, at the time, I didn’t recognize the feelings for what they were. It wasn’t until I finally met an openly gay person that I seriously entertained the idea that I might myself be gay, but even then I pushed those thoughts aside for fear of spending an eternity in hell.

“It wasn’t until my first intimate experience with a man that I initially accepted my sexuality. I immediately began coming out to close family members (my mom and a few aunts) and a few close (or so I thought) friends. In retrospect, this wasn’t the wisest decision as I hadn’t fully figured out what being gay meant for me and how I would handle the pushback from society. Word quickly spread around my high school. Rumors flew and I was challenged as to how I was certain this wasn’t a phase and being an insecure young person, I began to once again question if I really was gay. I received notes from ‘friends’ warning me of the fiery depths of hell who kindly noted they would pray for my sin. I went into hiding for the first half of my senior year. Six months of depression and questioning who I was ensued.

“It wasn’t until early February when a distant friend reached out and encouraged me to be me and not focus on being a gay version or a straight version of myself. To this day, I look back on that moment as a turning point. Those words were more empowering than I can begin to explain. They let me be me.”

– D

“My childhood did not prepare me for this. I grew up in a restrictive, desperately religious home and, while I would like to say that it was mostly a good thing, if I’m being honest, it wasn’t. I’m still healing the scars clawed into me by religion years later. Because I was so deeply rooted in religious conservatism as a child and teen, the idea that I might not be straight didn’t even occur to me until I was 19 (and even then, only as a fleeting thought).

“I was in an abusive relationship with a man, which I ran from by moving three hours from home. In this newly chosen place, I fell in love with another man and lived my life as his girlfriend for another five years. Toward the end of our relationship, I started to realize that I didn’t feel the absence of attraction toward women as seemed socially ‘appropriate.’ I realized, slowly but surely, that I was definitely not straight.

“Being a progressive, confident (or so I thought), in-charge woman, I was immediately perfectly okay.

“Kidding. I spent many hours crying to a few high school acquaintances over the phone who shared with me that they were openly gay, and I owe them a debt of gratitude I’ll never be able to repay.

“Ultimately, I came to terms with the fact that I am pansexual over a long period of time, and one day I simply knew that I had always know. That night, I told my long-term boyfriend, thinking he would be happy for me, that I had learned this thing about myself and that I was beginning to fully understand and accept who I was. Instead, he became very angry, leaving me at a table at a restaurant in tears wondering what I’d done wrong.

“He left me about two months later, and, while there were many issues with our relationship, I will always wonder if this may have played a role. Since the end of that relationship, I’ve learned much more about myself and truly come to terms with the fact that I can be attracted to any gender. I think there will still be days where it causes a twinge of shame because of my upbringing, but my experience motivates me to ensure that no one, especially my children, ever has to face that shame.”

– M

“It’s hard to pinpoint a moment when, at the bottom of my heart, I always knew. Having learned the skill of self-reflection over the years, however, I’ve been able to trace back and remember the moment where I was like ‘YUP! THERE IT IS!’

“That moment was none other than watching the movie Labyrinth, starring David Bowie. In this movie, his characters stands up from his throne to sing ‘Magic Dance.’ (If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.) There, in that moment, I realized that men in tight pants would be part of my life for years to come.“

– T

“Throughout high school and college, I had many boyfriends. So many, in fact, that family often joked about them. I constantly found flaws and characteristics in these partners, then broke it off. I often wondered if I was being too picky, but something always seemed to be missing. At the same time, in both high school and college, I found myself so interested in the ‘tomboy’ girls at school. I wondered, as an athlete, whether I just wanted to be like them or if I was actually attracted to them. I brushed the thoughts off and told myself, ‘Of course I don’t like them. They’re just really good at (fill-in-the-blank sport) and I’m envious of that.’ But, in the back of my mind, I always knew.

“When I got to college, my coach was a lesbian and had a partner. I was so interested in their relationship and often envious of it. I wanted to know more, but didn’t know where to turn. Randomly I would hear someone say, “Well so-and-so’s a lesbian’ or ‘well, she has a girlfriend,’ and I found myself quickly tuning in. I kept ignoring, however, the signs of interest within me.

“In my third year of college, I formed a close friendship with someone who identified as a lesbian. I loved how real this person was, how brave and … attractive? This was the confusing part. I constantly wanted to be around her. I loved the confidence she exuded and was drawn to learning more about the LGBT+ community.

“Enter grad school. Wow, two years of the biggest ups and downs of my life. A time where we were encouraged to do more self-discovery than I knew was possible. A time when I got to see classmates and friends become their bravest selves. A time when I knew I could no longer hide this big part of my identity. And that’s when I knew I needed to say it out loud. I didn’t know all the fancy words, but I knew how I felt. And I was so ready to let others know this as well. Saying the words felt unbelievably terrifying but also ridiculously freeing. I could be 100% me.”

– D

“I must have known a million times before I admitted it to myself. But the world doesn’t want you to admit it to yourself. That’s not what we’re taught at home, on TV, in the books or the movies.

“I actually dated my first girlfriend for a *really* long time and still didn’t admit it to myself. Throughout that entire first relationship I thought, ‘This will only be once. I’m sure I’ll find a guy to start a family with. I’m sure there is someone else out there for me. This is just ‘a thing.”

“It’s crazy that you can be 23 years old, in a serious relationship with a female, and still think it’s temporary. It wasn’t even until that relationship ended and my next relationship started that I truly realized what it was. Since I clearly had no interest in men, that next relationship was also with a girl. Not until 24 did I really know. Not until my second relationship smacked me in the face and say, ‘Yep, this is you. It’s time to accept it.’“

– W

“Navigating the treacherous waters of adolescence is no treat on its own, but it is even rougher when you are trying to hide or suppress something that’s a huge part of who you are. I think I always knew. I just never wanted to admit it to my friends and family, and, most of all, myself.

“Throughout my teenage years I would develop relationships, often longing for more than just friendship from my male friends. Not really understanding why I felt the way I did, but always wishing that it would pass. ‘It’s just one of those phases.’ ‘It means nothing.’ I would often tell myself these things in my struggle to figure out what it all meant.

“After all the time of carrying this weight around with me, I remember when I finally confided and came out to one of my best friends. She just responded with, ‘Of course you are. I’m glad you can finally admit it to yourself.’ How could she be so sure, when I wasn’t sure at all?

“It was something I struggled with for years. Years of putting up an exterior that didn’t fit with who I was. In fact, I was more comfortable with the façade of who I was than with my true self. I would often compromise my thoughts and beliefs to make sure I fit this mold, this concept of who I was supposed to be, who I was expected to be.

“‘Of course you are…’ The moment I heard those words, I knew I was done being someone, something other than who I truly was. That’s when I knew I could start living my life fully and without reservations. I could finally be me.”

– D

“When I was little, I was always the boy that would want to play dress-up or play house with all of the girls. I didn’t see any problem or reason why a young boy wearing a wig of long hair would be looked down upon. I was just being me and playing with my friends.

“One Christmas, I asked for a Barbie doll because all of my friends at school had them. When Christmas morning came, there was no Barbie doll under the tree at my house. When I went to my grandparent’s house, my teenage cousin had spent her own money to buy me a Barbie doll, and I was so excited! I remember playing with that doll everyday for about a year. At that time I still didn’t know that this was not an ‘acceptable’ thing for a young boy to be doing.

“In the third grade, I got a gift card to Toys ‘R’ Us and I knew exactly what I was going to buy: a Bratz doll. Once again, all of my friends at school had them and we used to play with them at every recess. Once I bought my own, I took that Bratz doll everyday to play with at recess with all of my girl friends. I thought that this was normal because I was happy; I didn’t know why some of the adults looked at me funny.

“When my sister, who is five years younger, was old enough to have Barbie dolls, we would play together for hours. I was having fun playing with my sister, and we always had a good time. One day my mom walked into the living room where we were playing with the Barbie dolls and said Barbie dolls were not for young boys and told me that I should not be playing with them at any time.

“This was the first time that I started doubting myself and who I was. Before that day, I thought I was just a ‘normal’ young kid that liked to play with the girls and have fun. After that day I started telling myself I was different and that I needed to hide who I really was: a young gay boy.

“Throughout middle school and high school, I kept the ‘real’ me a secret and never let anyone know who I really was. I never had a girlfriend, and many people asked me if I was gay, but I denied everything and kept my secret.

“Today, I am in college, and I have finally realized that I shouldn’t care who others tell me I should be or how I should act. If I am being completely honest with myself, and to everyone else, I have always known that I was gay, but I have never fully accepted this until college because of the opinions of the ones around me. I am now starting to share my ‘secret’ with the ones I feel the most comfortable around and know will support me no matter what!

“I am a 21-year-old college student who is just now sharing my story with people, but I knew I was gay before knowing what the word gay meant. I was just being completely myself. I look forward to the day when I can be myself again with everyone.”

– R

‘I would like to share my story: When I was growing up, I was the typical boy-crazy young girl. But, when I entered middle school, a lot of things started to change. I would say that I always noticed girls, but – once middle school happened – I noticed them in a different light. I always thought that I was weird, because I still really liked boys (in fact, I had crushes on several of the popular boys in my grade), but I also began to have those same feelings towards some of the girls.

“In high school it got stronger. My freshmen or sophomore year, I told one of my friends that I liked her, and she didn’t talk to me for months after. It really hurt. At this point in my life, my parents had a point of view that it was all wrong how I was feeling, but I couldn’t help it. Very few people knew my secret; only those who were really close to me knew. That changed for me junior year.

“I got to go through Challenge Day, and it the the major turning point for my life. During one part of the day, an activity was done called ‘power exchange.’ One of the statements was, ‘If you, a family member, or friend is gay, lesbian, transgender or bisexual, please cross the line.’ Several of my friends crossed the line, One of my dear friends gave me courage enough to pass over. I told myself that it was okay that I am this way.

“Later in the afternoon, I came out to the whole room, telling them I was bi. It felt good to tell them. I have to say that no one really looked at me any differently after that. There are days now, even at the age of 26, that I fear I made a mistake, that there is something wrong with me. I don’t know how to feel or how to tell others. I’m afraid of being turned away, of not having the support of my dear friends.”

– A